Self Defense Rules For
Hospital Living With Your Child
- It's sad that health care has come to this in America, but, those
falsely accused of MSBP will attest to the truth of this page! Whether or
not you apply some or all of these recommendations, you should at least be aware of what
you might one day have to face if you are a passionate, advocating parent.
You would be stunned to see the lengths that a hospital, in concert
with CPS, will go in order to cover up their misdeeds and to protect their image! If at
all possible, you should hire a private duty nurse to care for your child while he/she is
hospitalized. This is very costly which few of us can afford, but is far less expensive or
tramatic than defending yourself in the courts. :
- Always, always behave as if a hidden camera is in the room monitoring you; be careful of
what you say on the hospital phone! Your legitimate actions can be easily
misconstrued. If you are given a room switch for no obvious reason, you have probably been
moved into a surveillance area.
- Document everything. Keep paperwork in good order! Get copies of medical records as
you go along and keep perfect files on your child from every source. In
an accusation situation, records can suddenly disappear and change.
- In accordance with the laws of your state (posted in your phone book), tape
record all phone conversations with anyone involved with
your child's care. Some states require the knowledge of both parties, most require that
only one of the parties know...like yourself. Radio Shack sells a great phone
recorder for around $100; its worth its weight in gold. You might even
request that you be able to openly tape record or videotape meetings with the doctors.
Also, if necessary, use a micro-recorder in your pocket to tape record a doctor or nurse
in conference with you at bedside and try to refer to the person by name for the tape.
Always date your tapes.
- If you have a complaint against a nurse or staff person, you might put it in writing and
send it out to hospital administrators with cc's on the bottom of the letter.
- Get a good 35mm (or digital) camera and a video camera and document any thing that you
believe might be important. Take regular pictures to add visual evidence to your journal
- Never confide too much personal or family information or much about your feelings or
emotional state to a nurse, doctor, hospital chaplain or hospital/state social worker. No
matter how much you think they like or empathize with you, if you get falsely accused of Munchausen
Syndrome by Proxy, the staff will immediately enact the "Code of
Silence" and radically distance themselves from you to save their jobs and
avoid having to testify on your behalf. If you need someone to bear your burdens, find
people unconnected to the hospital to talk to. Anything you ever say to a nurse, doctor,
hospital chaplain or social worker can and probably will be brought against you. They will
exaggerate your words, put them in the worst light and even misquote what you actually
said to destroy your character.
- Never take it on yourself to give your child medicine in the hospital, let the nurses do
it. Do not bring any thing into the room in a purse or clothing bag that could in any way
be used against you. They will search everything you have when you walk out of the room
for a moment. They will even lure you away!
- If a hospital starts setting you up for an accusation, they will have nurses ask you
questions like "what about your other kids, who's taking care of them; how can you
cope with this?" or "How is your relationship with your husband?" The
Chaplain may even come in and say that you need to "open up and share your
feelings." You will start recognizing strange behavior towards yourself and if you
have been talking to outside physicians (searching for help for your child), you may find
that they suddenly won't respond to you, or they might say "I have to talk directly
to your doctor from now on!"
- Every day, write down names of nurses and doctors who come and visit you and what
is said by them; you bet they are taking those type of notes on you. If you become a
target, it will be critical for subpoenas.
- Have as many relatives, friends, ministers & church members visit you as possible.
Without this you will be far more likely to be a target of a false allegation. If you are
out of town, unite with a church group. A loner is much more apt to be accused!
- Always keep in touch and update any physician that you trust or your family has used for
a while. They can be invaluable for your defense. Try to have friends witness meetings
with doctors or nurses especially if you expect confrontation.
- If someone from the staff starts talking to you about taking psychiatric counseling, or
if their focus starts leaving your child's condition and becomes directed at you - BEWARE
and GET OUTTA THERE!!!!
- If you get falsely accused and your child gets confiscated, don't speak another word
until you have an attorney!
Mothers Against MSBP Allegations